MODERN REPLY TO A MODERN LETTER
Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for romance.
However,you should be informed that there are certain conditions of acceptance. Promotional prospects should be to my satisfaction. In addition, please enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be generous.
I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security with regards to this commitment. If there is any chance at all of retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then I should receive monetary compensation according to union standards.
Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that an expense account should be arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP' I shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and transport allowances should be in order and nothing less than a jaguar is acceptable.
Please also note that there should be no moonlighting restrictions placed on me. If you are still interested in the relationship,please reply as soon as possible as other prospective lovers have indicated interest.
Please also note that my sister is happily employed.
WHAT MAKES THE AMUSING??
These two letters are written with regards to the modern world of today. We can still find love letters like what people used to write with all the jargons love, darling, honey and etc though...I would not doubt that, but now, the world has changed, to keep pace with the advancement of time and technology, people have changed their style of writing. It is indeed very modern, very contemporary, but I just don't feel too right about it. This is the example of the old love letter...
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;...........