EP13

Yesterday, 17th of February, exactly 3 days after valentine's day and 2 days after Maulidur Rasul. We had a presentation, for assignment (A SURVEY OF PROSE FORMS AND POETRY)...

We had to submit two assignments at the same time and there was not much time given for us to work on it. On Friday, February 11th, morning 8.00 a.m to 10.00 a.m We had a briefing given by **********..She had wasted 2 hours only for a briefing. 

I wanted to yell at her to just continue with our lecture instead of blabbering about her own life and unnecessary things...

But I couldn't...so I decided to sleep and waited for class to finish. But that is not my intention here, I want to share something else, something different today. 

RESPECT

Here is the real deal...I have not respected few of my lecturers and my former teachers. I can see the result that I think have affected my life. For an example, when I was in secondary school. I did not treated all my teachers fairly. There was one teacher who I think did a reasonably and incredibly job teaching us passionately. She gave us a lot of work that I couldn't finish and also, she was really something, she can teach us all the time without even concern about her own life (husband and kids)..She is really something, I adore her determination,,,But!!! when she got promoted to "Penolong kanan hal ehwal pelajar" students affairs, then all her dirty BIG secrets revealed. She started to rule everyone, including me...But I still liked her, unfortunately, she seemed to lost her passions because of work loads. I really think holding a position wouldn't do any good to us. She had to attend meetings, skipping classes (with replacements) and we never liked it. so, we started to talk bad about her and I regretted it for that. It was never my intention to slander about her or about anyone, but she forced me, she forced us. so the result was, my Geographical studies, I got a B for that. It was really pathetic isn't it? 

I'm flushed btw what's with this picture?

Rants above is only a deviation of what I wanted to talk today. yea about my assignments, i did a handsome job, finishing them before due date and I even get the chance to cross-check them. A linguistics essay and power point presentation for so called ES (English studies). on Friday, the day when we had the briefing, I went to UM's library, researching for materials and after 4 hours of hard work, I finally got few notes regarding human language and animal communication. I was so proud at myself, I skipped assembly to look for the materials (when can I value myself like this? this is already an ideal time). so yea I did. So I spent my 2 days time to work on 2 assignments, I did not have a very good sleep within the 2 days. I think I managed to sleep only for few hours for the whole 48 hours that day. I worked hard, I slept, hoping that my next day will be fruitful and productive. 

So, it was Monday yesterday. The day where I need to present my slide show. I was confident, coming to class as usual. But it was a little bit different that I forgot everything that morning, I brought my laptop with me, but my wallet I left it at home, luckily I always had this habit to put extra money in my pockets, so I fumbled them all and I found RM15. I was so lucky, so I got into class and phoohh Miss Pat was already in class, my heart was pumping very fast, so sudden, it's not that I was excited seeing, looking at her, but I think something is not going to be right, I thought. She wanted to continue with the presentation as fast as we can. I told Kak Kimah that something's really fishy was going to happen. 

We set everything up and we used Miss Pat's laptop to start off with everything but her laptop is so ancient it couldn't play the videos we intended to play. It was an omen for us. Qing yi offered her laptop and yeah the videos, everything played well. But the thing was, I stumbled like I have never used English language before, my skills are tarnishing, even now. I can see that my language has becoming worse and i don't have confidence in me. I wonder how Malaysia can produce a good English teacher if we are made locally. I'm so sorry, in advance if you found a lot of grammatical mistakes and sentences which do not make any sense here.

So my presentation, it went very badly. I was speechless, I was down I'm suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck ......I admit that I looked down at people, I felt superior, but I don't now why do I feel superior, I don't have anything special in me, I can't do anything and I'm helpless. 

I have made up my mind, I want to start everyday afresh...I will not underestimate people, I will talk more and I hope my language will get better. Please get better baby! I need you...till then, enough with my rants...  

  

 whatever it is, we need to respect people, my skills are tarnishing because I talk bad about people, God has done his job very well, to make me realise that I'm not that good, that I need to make myself better even though I'm quite content with what I have now.I need to change myself,change his perception towards me so he can change what he has set for me,,,

EP12

I am not myself anymore

Few days ago I might be myself but I just feel different this time around. You know it's like when people are baking  pie, they fill the pie with barf instead of fruit or chicken floss. And they just throw it right into my face. I am/was mortified, at least I am ashamed to myself that I have never realized what I did all these days was wrong.  At least people are judging me on what I have done and I know, perhaps it's only a karma.


I admit, I am not a very good friend to everybody, at least not all. I can be a backstabber too sometimes depending on the condition people put me into and I can also be a wonderful friend


you know how this F/S thing is giving me pale look at myself..well, I just not myself =.=".

EP11

We Real Cool

   

    THE POOL PLAYERS. 

     SEVEN AT THE GOLDEN SHOVEL.

We real cool. We
Left school. We

Lurk late. We
Strike straight. We

Sing sin. We
Thin gin. We

Jazz June. We
Die soon. 

EP10

Few days back.

Few weeks back.

Few years back.

I have been receiving a lot of phone calls, messages and even mms-es from somebody I hardly know them and hey wait!! Of course I don’t know them. Silly me!! shit3x  Who the hell are they? And when I ask them where the F they get my contact number...

Alexs: Where did you get my number? Who gave you????? (IMPERATIVE)

The kind of answers that I will get are...

Anonymous: Erk I found it on the internet.

Anonymous: Your number is in my contact list.

Anonymous: No comment, I just want to know you more.

This is so freakishly crazy. I did put my number on the internet, on tagged. But it was through private message and people wouldn’t know it unless...haaaaaaaaaaaaaa...unless the person who I gave the number spread it out!!! Shit I just realized it now. So now I know where they all get my number. Thanks to blog post for keeping me awake from all this kind of crazy stuff. They are weirdo. Sometimes they demand for so many things which I can’t just give to people without any assurance. Naked pictures of me??? Hell shit no!!!!!! I would not even give pictures of me “topless”. I ain’t pornstar. Lol   

EP09

Actually I don't know what to write, so this is one of the essays that I have been working on since Monday. I really don't think it's good. But I just wanna share. I don't wanna leave my blog empty T____T...

Facebook is one of the fastest growing social networking websites on the Internet. Each day countless numbers of people flock to Facebook and join up with visions of reconnecting with people and having the ability to maintain contact with people they know.
There are many advantages to becoming a Facebook member and once you've successfully integrated yourself as a savvy user, you'll see just how Facebook is a great tool to be used for many purposes. The advantages and disadvantages of Facebook can somehow be narrowed down to certain ‘distinct’ aspects, especially in students’ life.  Basically, we are now talking about students’ life. Clear your thoughts, heads and come together to think and conform to me, the essentials and the non-requisites of having Facebook. (The advantages and the disadvantages)

Having Facebook account is one of the fundamental elements in students’ life in college. Most of students and also lecturers are bound to communicate through Facebook rather than sms or email. Some people are too lazy to check their email account thus, making it harder to communicate via that. So, to make it simplest for all students and lecturers, Facebook is turned to one great device connecting everyone. It makes everyone feel free to communicate, getting rid of a lot of awkwardness that we may have encountered in the real world. Facebook is not just about putting our lives into virtual world, but the vitality of Facebook is further proved when the system in it is now upgraded. I’m sure most of us have realized the existence of a few new groups created by particular person in Facebook system. We can do our own group and choose our own followers. Discussions, questions and a lot more can be conferred within the small society in that particular group.

Other than that, it saves cost. This issue is of extreme importance. Paying for so many things on our own is tough. Extremely tough. From petrol to photocopies to many other extras that students need to do. Sometimes we can even get ourselves trapped in the world in indigence just by filling and paying all these necessities. But, by having Facebook, it gives us a little space of indifference. What I meant here is, we can get accessed to Facebook freely, we won’t really care how to cut budget just to save and spend our money wisely. Believe me, even the lamest college will have ‘free wifi’  set for their students! If they don’t have it, too bad, the students need to be assertive and they must fight for it and get everything done! Some applications like the ability of us tagging people through the notes or in status updates to remind people is of a great help. People won’t be missed out of any information, unless they are purely ignorance, that can’t be helped. Well, if you were to come across that kind of case, give her or him a nice ‘slap’ snapping herself out of confusion and drag her down to the real world of Facebook and technology. But it’s going to be a very rare case so don’t lose energy on that.               
Even the most distinguished product can have its disadvantages and can cause some predicament with one's character. The bad side of having Facebook particularly are that first, it is going to be a catalogue for people exhibiting their disposition of sexuality. When we talk about this kind of abomination of nature we are inclined to look at the symptoms of social illness amongst youngsters, especially. Whilst everyone is so excited about the best parts of this social networking, many people tend to forget and they actually, intentionally disregard its bad parts. What do you have in your mind when you are liberally mingling just with almost everyone, be it anonymous or some acquaintances? Moral decay? Free sex? Free everything? Believe me again, Ladies and Gentlemen, it wouldn’t bring any good at all. Facebook is promoting openness to a lot of social cavities. While the government is probing the social scenes in this country, Facebook is contributing to the progress of increasing the number of problems in this country. Like what we all can see are problems with homosexuality, cyber bullying, emotional breakdown or emotional failure and name it, we have all listed safe and sound here. Those sinners use Facebook as a subterfuge to keep their dirty work camouflaged. I know some of you might not support this but this is the fact that people keep secret of. Suchlike any other social networking, it has definitely the same, vital role, manipulating people especially when the use is abused.
Facebook can also be very abusive when there are people who misuse it for their own self. They can fake the profile of one’s person and drag it to the wrong use of it. We can somehow relate it to self-disclosure. It can be either like a person is indiscriminately violating, condemning and insulting other people, or maybe a person throws so many profanities and it makes him look very ego-centric, harsh and rude person. It can cause you a downfall. And the same thing too applies if, you are now a different person using different profile and using different picture as a profile picture. A person who doesn’t know might just jump into conclusion that you are what they see and start to ask you with loads of questions. They do not know who you are, but they are judging you. Then suddenly you make one of the silliest mistakes and it shames you, what would happen? Speak for yourself. When we share personal information with someone, we risk indifference if the other person does not care about it, or rejection, if the person is turned off by the information or most importantly, if that person already has this one kind look at you. This is dangerous, and should be avoided by all means. Other possibilities that are possible to happen are also such as you are going to be tormented, emotionally and people lost faith in you.